21. kindness

living in manila, i have been trained early on to be aware of my surroundings. (please note that this is different from being aware of the direction i am going in all the time because honestly, i could get lost in a cubicle.) to look back over my shoulder to see if someone is following on a darkened street, to edge away when someone is walking eerily too close for comfort, to casually but protectively cover my bag with a hand while getting from point a to b -- these are the reflexes that i have adopted as a veteran commuter, and which have reinforced in me a natural suspicion of my fellow man.

but once in a while, i experience the unexpected kindness that puts all my instilled paranoia to shame. over the years, i have been the recipient of much kindness from strangers, whose faces i will probably never see again or even recognize if i do.

there was this middle-aged man who let his wife go on ahead to their house which was quite near, who walked the short distance to wait with me for the correct jeep to come by so this time, i could safely find my way out of the unfamiliar junction i found myself in (somewhere in dapitan) during one of my random commuting mishaps, and it was raining. there was this old lady at the lrt whom i'd given my seat to, and who deliberately adjusted her body so i could sit when there was more available space. countless strangers who smiled as they answered and gave me, the silly lost girl, the right directions. all these are proof that grace exists, even in the shabbiest of places. a person may be kind and honest regardless of how he may look like on the outside or where you meet him or how it was that you met him. and it is important that you recognize this kindness because it is an act of courage in a naturally paranoid world.

when i am old and hopefully sans the bitterness that often comes with age, these are the memories that i choose to remember, that moments of kindness are forever.