hello, blog land. i visit you again as i sit ensconced in my airconditioned room, defying the heat of one of the hottest summers in memory, newly sated from snacking on a two-cheese sandwich and languidly content with the world on a non-harried work day (i take them gratefully when i can). i only have one weekly team call to get over with before i sign off for the day and as long i don't get pressured to go on video, i think we'll make through it okay. i have no real reason to write, no burning chest sensation to assuage, other than to feel again the dear comfort of words loosening my mind's tongue and of losing myself in their dance. later i will be starting up my less than a week old yellow car, warming it up because it hasn't and will not be driven for a while. or at least not until i get myself schooled, licensed and relatively confident that i won't die in my first outing try.
after months of life's little cuts and frustrations, not counting the always present fear of covid that permeates the air of this new normal, things seem to be looking up in weird succession. anxious me wishes i could space them out more, afraid that i would use my luck up too soon, but then again tomorrow isn't exactly assured, is it? let me be amazed at life's puzzle pieces fitting together suddenly, and dreamily look forward to the future. let me happily delude myself that i have a sense of control and that planning, strategic overthinking, and delayed gratification will give me more gifts to open in the end.
let me be hopeful.
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