is it a sign of growing up that the simple life is all i want lately? looking back on my 20's (man did it feel weird to write that), it feels like i spent that decade mostly catching up. coming from a woefully naïve though happy adolescence, i came into a monthly paycheck, discovered love and cared for how i looked for possibly the first time ever. and suddenly, i was spurred into action.
i discovered clothes and bought them the way i hoarded books growing up--indiscriminately, impulsively, gleefully. then my wanderlust was born. traveling places, believing i had to see everything, be everywhere now, today, and buying clothes to wear them to, they kind of went together, you know? before YOLO and FOMO were coined, i think i was already trapped in them. i was racing, trying to keep up. and while i know that the wanting itself is only human nature, it was the path i was on that now makes me wonder: why the need to race at all?
these days i find pleasure in pausing. it's mababaw but i feel thrilled when i finish a pen to its very last drop, fulfilled when i wear an old dress that still fits me well, grateful for the office coffee that warms me up for free. i've always been a relatively happy kid but realizing that YES i can keep my own pace in an always-harried world gives me unbearable comfort too.
i think, for now, this is a good place to be. i want to learn to curb my impulses, save more and prepare for the future, play the long game and try to be more creative with what i have. (i also want to write more for myself again.) after all, there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.
if this is growing up, then it doesn't seem so bad.: )
i discovered clothes and bought them the way i hoarded books growing up--indiscriminately, impulsively, gleefully. then my wanderlust was born. traveling places, believing i had to see everything, be everywhere now, today, and buying clothes to wear them to, they kind of went together, you know? before YOLO and FOMO were coined, i think i was already trapped in them. i was racing, trying to keep up. and while i know that the wanting itself is only human nature, it was the path i was on that now makes me wonder: why the need to race at all?
these days i find pleasure in pausing. it's mababaw but i feel thrilled when i finish a pen to its very last drop, fulfilled when i wear an old dress that still fits me well, grateful for the office coffee that warms me up for free. i've always been a relatively happy kid but realizing that YES i can keep my own pace in an always-harried world gives me unbearable comfort too.
i think, for now, this is a good place to be. i want to learn to curb my impulses, save more and prepare for the future, play the long game and try to be more creative with what i have. (i also want to write more for myself again.) after all, there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.
if this is growing up, then it doesn't seem so bad.: )
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