how i lobby so hard to exert the least possible effort when it comes to work, when i know deep down that it is only by working earnestly do i find the fulfilment that has kept me going this long.
so in the future if i once again (as i'm sure i will) gripe about the unfairness and frustration of work, here now is the insight that i am only a hypocrite just trying to write my way out of a mental block. that i procrastinate as an ingrained habit and this is the way things have to be before they ultimately get done. and that deep down, no matter how i seem to begrudge it, i am grateful.
i just have a weird way of showing it.: )
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