5. i almost joined twitter

almost being the operative word. i backed out at the last minute, commitment-phobe that i am. but for a minute there, i was already part of the twitterati, framing just the right mix of words to open up that world to me, the perfect combination of sass and cool that i've always aspired to but which always falls short of my sass and cool standard, the kind of which will leave readers amused (but not necessarily better for having read me) and coming back every hour to check on whether i've updated or, well, proceeded to live my life.

it was during that crucial moment of deciding what to name my twitter account that my mind began to wander, and i remembered that this blog still existed and that i really ought to put in a few words now and then. (if this blog were a room in winter, it would be one with a cold fireplace.)

there are days like this when i have nothing concrete to write, no dates and exact time, no so's and then's, no and then what happened's, only reflection and the phantom limb itching. i feel like i have something to say, but that i know that the very act of speaking what i can't verbally express will only frustrate me. it's an exercise only the fingers can play. like i'm in the mood for neverending roundabout riddles whose meanings and answers you can only sense, and which remind you of things you have no name for but have been familiar with all your life, the unseen playmate, and can never really grasp or put a finger to. and these are the things that you live for, that separates a humdrum day from an interesting one, the abstracts and the beyonds that make you feel that there are things to know and you can learn them and do not have to remain the way you always are. these are the treasures that necessitate a quest, that sustain it, and that make it beautiful.

and if you've survived this rant until now, you will know and trust me why, when i say i'll never survive twitter.: )